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Sie sind Veranstalter? Sie suchen ein einfaches Ticketsystem?
Sprechen Sie mit uns unter +49 7152 9259-0

Kultur

U. S. Levin

Wann  
08.10.2019, 19:30 Uhr Weiterleiten
Wo

Bürgerhaus Eilenburg

Eilenburg

1. Teil
"Dieses Kribbeln im Schlauch"

2. Teil
"Herr Doktor, tut das weh"

Sie sind im medialen Blätterwald selten geworden: Kleine, oft unscheinbare Zei-tungsmeldungen über kuriose Missgeschicke, die jedem von uns widerfahren kön-nen. U. S. Levin hat sie mit dem Spürsinn eines Fährtenhundes aufgestöbert, mit der Akribie eines Pathologen seziert und danach mit den Kochkünsten eines Wort-akrobaten satirisch, ironisch und äußerst unterhaltend zu- und aufbereitet. Und egal ob Kinder oder hoch betagte Menschen, ob Gauner oder Polizisten, ob Patien-ten oder Ärzte, bei ihren oft wahnsinnigen und aberwitzigen Geschichten bleibt keine Auge trocken.
Zahlreiche Texte beschäftigen sich mit dem Problem wachsender Alterskriminalität, wie einer 52-jährigen Drogenschmugglerin, die den Zöllnern durch ihre berau-schende Oberweite aufgefallen war. Eine 91 Jahre alte Ladendiebin wurde ertappt, als sie die in einer Drogerie hochwertige und teure Antifaltencreme klauen wollte. Sie war also nicht nur Kleptomanin sondern auch Optimistin. Eine gleichaltrige Kidnapperin, beteiligte sich aktiv an der Entführung eines Firmenchefs im ostfriesi-schen Leer. Oft werden Senioren aber selbst Opfer von Gewalttaten, die manchmal überraschende Wendungen nehmen können, wie bei einer fit gebliebene 100 Jah-re alten Dame aus Essen, die sich erfolgreich gegen zwei junge Trickbetrügerinnen zur Wehr setzte und ihren Rollator als Waffe einsetzte, bis diese völlig entnervt auf-gaben.
73 Geschichten von U. S. Levin brillant vorgetragen und mit zündenden Wortspie-len unter dem Motto: „In der Kürze liegt die Würze!“

Location

Bürgerhaus Eilenburg

Franz-Mehring-Str. 23

04838 Eilenburg

java.lang.NullPointerException: Cannot invoke method get() on null object
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.NullObject.invokeMethod(NullObject.java:91)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.callsite.PogoMetaClassSite.call(PogoMetaClassSite.java:48)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.callsite.CallSiteArray.defaultCall(CallSiteArray.java:48)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.callsite.NullCallSite.call(NullCallSite.java:35)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.callsite.CallSiteArray.defaultCall(CallSiteArray.java:48)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.callsite.PogoMetaClassSite.call(PogoMetaClassSite.java:57)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.callsite.AbstractCallSite.call(AbstractCallSite.java:125)
at event_manager_box.run(event_manager_box.groovy:40)
at groovy.util.GroovyScriptEngine.run(GroovyScriptEngine.java:592)
at groovy.servlet.GroovyServlet$1.call(GroovyServlet.java:123)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport$ThreadCategoryInfo.use(GroovyCategorySupport.java:112)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport$ThreadCategoryInfo.access$400(GroovyCategorySupport.java:68)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport.use(GroovyCategorySupport.java:252)
at groovy.servlet.GroovyServlet.service(GroovyServlet.java:132)
at javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:848)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHolder.handle(ServletHolder.java:684)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler.doHandle(ServletHandler.java:503)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ScopedHandler.handle(ScopedHandler.java:137)
at org.eclipse.jetty.security.SecurityHandler.handle(SecurityHandler.java:575)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.session.SessionHandler.doHandle(SessionHandler.java:231)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ContextHandler.doHandle(ContextHandler.java:1086)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler.doScope(ServletHandler.java:429)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.session.SessionHandler.doScope(SessionHandler.java:193)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ContextHandler.doScope(ContextHandler.java:1020)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ScopedHandler.handle(ScopedHandler.java:135)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.Dispatcher.include(Dispatcher.java:183)
at org.json.G.insert(G.java:383)
at org.json.G$insert$9.call(Unknown Source)
at event_content_bottom.run(event_content_bottom.groovy:24)
at groovy.util.GroovyScriptEngine.run(GroovyScriptEngine.java:592)
at groovy.servlet.GroovyServlet$1.call(GroovyServlet.java:123)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport$ThreadCategoryInfo.use(GroovyCategorySupport.java:112)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport$ThreadCategoryInfo.access$400(GroovyCategorySupport.java:68)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport.use(GroovyCategorySupport.java:252)
at groovy.servlet.GroovyServlet.service(GroovyServlet.java:132)
at javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:848)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHolder.handle(ServletHolder.java:684)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler.doHandle(ServletHandler.java:503)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ScopedHandler.handle(ScopedHandler.java:137)
at org.eclipse.jetty.security.SecurityHandler.handle(SecurityHandler.java:575)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.session.SessionHandler.doHandle(SessionHandler.java:231)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ContextHandler.doHandle(ContextHandler.java:1086)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler.doScope(ServletHandler.java:429)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.session.SessionHandler.doScope(SessionHandler.java:193)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ContextHandler.doScope(ContextHandler.java:1020)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ScopedHandler.handle(ScopedHandler.java:135)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.Dispatcher.include(Dispatcher.java:183)
at org.json.G.insert(G.java:383)
at org.json.G$insert$9.call(Unknown Source)
at index.run(index.groovy:337)
at groovy.util.GroovyScriptEngine.run(GroovyScriptEngine.java:592)
at groovy.servlet.GroovyServlet$1.call(GroovyServlet.java:123)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport$ThreadCategoryInfo.use(GroovyCategorySupport.java:112)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport$ThreadCategoryInfo.access$400(GroovyCategorySupport.java:68)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport.use(GroovyCategorySupport.java:252)
at groovy.servlet.GroovyServlet.service(GroovyServlet.java:132)
at javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:848)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHolder.handle(ServletHolder.java:684)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler$CachedChain.doFilter(ServletHandler.java:1496)
at org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.RuleChain.handleRewrite(RuleChain.java:176)
at org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.RuleChain.doRules(RuleChain.java:145)
at org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.UrlRewriter.processRequest(UrlRewriter.java:92)
at org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.UrlRewriteFilter.doFilter(UrlRewriteFilter.java:381)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler$CachedChain.doFilter(ServletHandler.java:1484)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler.doHandle(ServletHandler.java:501)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ScopedHandler.handle(ScopedHandler.java:137)
at org.eclipse.jetty.security.SecurityHandler.handle(SecurityHandler.java:575)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.session.SessionHandler.doHandle(SessionHandler.java:231)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ContextHandler.doHandle(ContextHandler.java:1086)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler.doScope(ServletHandler.java:429)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.session.SessionHandler.doScope(SessionHandler.java:193)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ContextHandler.doScope(ContextHandler.java:1020)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ScopedHandler.handle(ScopedHandler.java:135)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.Dispatcher.forward(Dispatcher.java:276)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.Dispatcher.forward(Dispatcher.java:103)
at org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.NormalRewrittenUrl.doRewrite(NormalRewrittenUrl.java:213)
at org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.RuleChain.handleRewrite(RuleChain.java:171)
at org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.RuleChain.doRules(RuleChain.java:145)
at org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.UrlRewriter.processRequest(UrlRewriter.java:92)
at org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.UrlRewriteFilter.doFilter(UrlRewriteFilter.java:381)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler$CachedChain.doFilter(ServletHandler.java:1476)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler.doHandle(ServletHandler.java:501)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ScopedHandler.handle(ScopedHandler.java:137)
at org.eclipse.jetty.security.SecurityHandler.handle(SecurityHandler.java:533)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.session.SessionHandler.doHandle(SessionHandler.java:231)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ContextHandler.doHandle(ContextHandler.java:1086)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler.doScope(ServletHandler.java:429)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.session.SessionHandler.doScope(SessionHandler.java:193)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ContextHandler.doScope(ContextHandler.java:1020)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ScopedHandler.handle(ScopedHandler.java:135)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ContextHandlerCollection.handle(ContextHandlerCollection.java:255)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.HandlerCollection.handle(HandlerCollection.java:154)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.HandlerWrapper.handle(HandlerWrapper.java:116)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.Server.handle(Server.java:370)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.AbstractHttpConnection.handleRequest(AbstractHttpConnection.java:494)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.AbstractHttpConnection.headerComplete(AbstractHttpConnection.java:971)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.AbstractHttpConnection$RequestHandler.headerComplete(AbstractHttpConnection.java:1033)
at org.eclipse.jetty.http.HttpParser.parseNext(HttpParser.java:644)
at org.eclipse.jetty.http.HttpParser.parseAvailable(HttpParser.java:235)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.AsyncHttpConnection.handle(AsyncHttpConnection.java:82)
at org.eclipse.jetty.io.nio.SelectChannelEndPoint.handle(SelectChannelEndPoint.java:696)
at org.eclipse.jetty.io.nio.SelectChannelEndPoint$1.run(SelectChannelEndPoint.java:53)
at org.eclipse.jetty.util.thread.QueuedThreadPool.runJob(QueuedThreadPool.java:608)
at org.eclipse.jetty.util.thread.QueuedThreadPool$3.run(QueuedThreadPool.java:543)
at java.lang.Thread.run(Thread.java:745)
java.lang.NullPointerException: Cannot invoke method get() on null object
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.NullObject.invokeMethod(NullObject.java:91)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.callsite.PogoMetaClassSite.call(PogoMetaClassSite.java:48)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.callsite.CallSiteArray.defaultCall(CallSiteArray.java:48)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.callsite.NullCallSite.call(NullCallSite.java:35)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.callsite.CallSiteArray.defaultCall(CallSiteArray.java:48)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.callsite.PogoMetaClassSite.call(PogoMetaClassSite.java:57)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.callsite.AbstractCallSite.call(AbstractCallSite.java:125)
at event_manager_events_box.run(event_manager_events_box.groovy:66)
at groovy.util.GroovyScriptEngine.run(GroovyScriptEngine.java:592)
at groovy.servlet.GroovyServlet$1.call(GroovyServlet.java:123)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport$ThreadCategoryInfo.use(GroovyCategorySupport.java:112)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport$ThreadCategoryInfo.access$400(GroovyCategorySupport.java:68)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport.use(GroovyCategorySupport.java:252)
at groovy.servlet.GroovyServlet.service(GroovyServlet.java:132)
at javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:848)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHolder.handle(ServletHolder.java:684)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler.doHandle(ServletHandler.java:503)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ScopedHandler.handle(ScopedHandler.java:137)
at org.eclipse.jetty.security.SecurityHandler.handle(SecurityHandler.java:575)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.session.SessionHandler.doHandle(SessionHandler.java:231)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ContextHandler.doHandle(ContextHandler.java:1086)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler.doScope(ServletHandler.java:429)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.session.SessionHandler.doScope(SessionHandler.java:193)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ContextHandler.doScope(ContextHandler.java:1020)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ScopedHandler.handle(ScopedHandler.java:135)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.Dispatcher.include(Dispatcher.java:183)
at org.json.G.insert(G.java:383)
at org.json.G$insert$9.call(Unknown Source)
at event_content_bottom.run(event_content_bottom.groovy:28)
at groovy.util.GroovyScriptEngine.run(GroovyScriptEngine.java:592)
at groovy.servlet.GroovyServlet$1.call(GroovyServlet.java:123)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport$ThreadCategoryInfo.use(GroovyCategorySupport.java:112)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport$ThreadCategoryInfo.access$400(GroovyCategorySupport.java:68)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport.use(GroovyCategorySupport.java:252)
at groovy.servlet.GroovyServlet.service(GroovyServlet.java:132)
at javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:848)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHolder.handle(ServletHolder.java:684)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler.doHandle(ServletHandler.java:503)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ScopedHandler.handle(ScopedHandler.java:137)
at org.eclipse.jetty.security.SecurityHandler.handle(SecurityHandler.java:575)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.session.SessionHandler.doHandle(SessionHandler.java:231)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ContextHandler.doHandle(ContextHandler.java:1086)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler.doScope(ServletHandler.java:429)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.session.SessionHandler.doScope(SessionHandler.java:193)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ContextHandler.doScope(ContextHandler.java:1020)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ScopedHandler.handle(ScopedHandler.java:135)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.Dispatcher.include(Dispatcher.java:183)
at org.json.G.insert(G.java:383)
at org.json.G$insert$9.call(Unknown Source)
at index.run(index.groovy:337)
at groovy.util.GroovyScriptEngine.run(GroovyScriptEngine.java:592)
at groovy.servlet.GroovyServlet$1.call(GroovyServlet.java:123)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport$ThreadCategoryInfo.use(GroovyCategorySupport.java:112)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport$ThreadCategoryInfo.access$400(GroovyCategorySupport.java:68)
at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport.use(GroovyCategorySupport.java:252)
at groovy.servlet.GroovyServlet.service(GroovyServlet.java:132)
at javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:848)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHolder.handle(ServletHolder.java:684)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler$CachedChain.doFilter(ServletHandler.java:1496)
at org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.RuleChain.handleRewrite(RuleChain.java:176)
at org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.RuleChain.doRules(RuleChain.java:145)
at org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.UrlRewriter.processRequest(UrlRewriter.java:92)
at org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.UrlRewriteFilter.doFilter(UrlRewriteFilter.java:381)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler$CachedChain.doFilter(ServletHandler.java:1484)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler.doHandle(ServletHandler.java:501)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ScopedHandler.handle(ScopedHandler.java:137)
at org.eclipse.jetty.security.SecurityHandler.handle(SecurityHandler.java:575)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.session.SessionHandler.doHandle(SessionHandler.java:231)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ContextHandler.doHandle(ContextHandler.java:1086)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler.doScope(ServletHandler.java:429)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.session.SessionHandler.doScope(SessionHandler.java:193)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ContextHandler.doScope(ContextHandler.java:1020)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ScopedHandler.handle(ScopedHandler.java:135)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.Dispatcher.forward(Dispatcher.java:276)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.Dispatcher.forward(Dispatcher.java:103)
at org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.NormalRewrittenUrl.doRewrite(NormalRewrittenUrl.java:213)
at org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.RuleChain.handleRewrite(RuleChain.java:171)
at org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.RuleChain.doRules(RuleChain.java:145)
at org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.UrlRewriter.processRequest(UrlRewriter.java:92)
at org.tuckey.web.filters.urlrewrite.UrlRewriteFilter.doFilter(UrlRewriteFilter.java:381)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler$CachedChain.doFilter(ServletHandler.java:1476)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler.doHandle(ServletHandler.java:501)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ScopedHandler.handle(ScopedHandler.java:137)
at org.eclipse.jetty.security.SecurityHandler.handle(SecurityHandler.java:533)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.session.SessionHandler.doHandle(SessionHandler.java:231)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ContextHandler.doHandle(ContextHandler.java:1086)
at org.eclipse.jetty.servlet.ServletHandler.doScope(ServletHandler.java:429)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.session.SessionHandler.doScope(SessionHandler.java:193)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ContextHandler.doScope(ContextHandler.java:1020)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ScopedHandler.handle(ScopedHandler.java:135)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.ContextHandlerCollection.handle(ContextHandlerCollection.java:255)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.HandlerCollection.handle(HandlerCollection.java:154)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.handler.HandlerWrapper.handle(HandlerWrapper.java:116)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.Server.handle(Server.java:370)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.AbstractHttpConnection.handleRequest(AbstractHttpConnection.java:494)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.AbstractHttpConnection.headerComplete(AbstractHttpConnection.java:971)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.AbstractHttpConnection$RequestHandler.headerComplete(AbstractHttpConnection.java:1033)
at org.eclipse.jetty.http.HttpParser.parseNext(HttpParser.java:644)
at org.eclipse.jetty.http.HttpParser.parseAvailable(HttpParser.java:235)
at org.eclipse.jetty.server.AsyncHttpConnection.handle(AsyncHttpConnection.java:82)
at org.eclipse.jetty.io.nio.SelectChannelEndPoint.handle(SelectChannelEndPoint.java:696)
at org.eclipse.jetty.io.nio.SelectChannelEndPoint$1.run(SelectChannelEndPoint.java:53)
at org.eclipse.jetty.util.thread.QueuedThreadPool.runJob(QueuedThreadPool.java:608)
at org.eclipse.jetty.util.thread.QueuedThreadPool$3.run(QueuedThreadPool.java:543)
at java.lang.Thread.run(Thread.java:745)